The UK's Labour government has been widely criticized over its intention to scrap the annual winter fuel payment for many of the UK's chilly pensioners.
So they have come up with an innovative solution:
Give every pensioner a free bag of coal!
A spokesperson explained:
Instead of money that can be used for buying a cheap holiday in Benidorm, pensioners will instead get a direct grant of fuel they can actually use to heat their homes.
The coal will delivered by Amazon Prime and pensioners without a coal fire can simply go online and barter their coal via a new site (bartermyfossillfuel.co.uk) or just burn it on the floor in a collander for a truly personal warming solution.
Giving away coal will help to use the piles of the stuff that are building up due to the switch to clean energy and provide thousands of new jobs for the highly trained, specialized delivery drivers known as 'coalmen'.