In order to fill a hole in the UK's finances, a pensions think tank has told FNN that the government may be considering raising the pension age to 98 in England and Wales and 88 in Scotland as Scots don't tend to live as long.
The idea is simple: by these ages the majority of people will be dead so there will be no need to pay out any pensions.
One result of this will be that you can expect to see more 90 year-old delivery drivers, baristas and shelf stackers as people are forced to work longer before they can collect their pensions.
The winter fuel payment will be continued but will be dropped to £2.50 which is about enough to buy a litre of oil or a bucket of coal to heat a home for at least a few hours before the occupant drops dead from the cold.
The Burnham government may also be considering nationalizing pensioners to become a new 'golden-years' workforce to work on community projects such as clearing fly-tipping dumps and filling potholes in the roads.