All UK mobile phones will receive a once-in-a-lifetime coronation alert on May 6, specifically addressed to anyone called Charles.
FNN has learned that the alert will say:
This is an emergency alert from the House of Windsor.
If your name is Charles, please note that you are not being coronated today so please do not turn up at Westminster Abbey.
Thank you for your attention.
God Save the King!
BTW if you are reading this while driving you may be committing an offence.
Everyone who reads the message will be charged 10p, which will go to the King's 'I Talk to the Trees (but they don't listen to me)' charity.