Election Rigged

After President Trump's Truth Social site posted an AI-generated picture of him in papal garb, the White House has reacted to his non-election as the next Pope.

A spokesperson explained:

We know this election was rigged because we saw the smoke coming out of the Vatican chimney after the cardinals burnt their ballots.

But we have a plan to protest the result using our elite Catholic NGO - known as the QAnuns - to invade St Peters.

The QAnuns are a radical sect of transgender nuns who, according to Dikipedia, believe that the Catholic church is operating a global campaign to prevent them using public bathrooms and that Donald Trump is secretly leading the fight against them.

The nuns operate their own webcam channel and OnlyFans page as a means to raise money for their struggle under the catchy tagline:

See beneath the habit!

FNN has learned that the 'Trump-for-Pope' plan also includes:

• making the Vatican the 51st state
• moving the Papal See to Queens, New York (somewhere near the Throgs Neck bridge)
• creating new red cardinal robes with MAGA emblazoned on the back
• establishing a new theme park in Florida that caters to your every indulgence
• nailing 95 pictures of Trump as Pope on telegraph poles all over Rome