UK Job Centres to be Renamed

To reflect true purpose

As part of Labour's new 'Get Britain Working Again' initiative, Job Centres are to be renamed 'Leisure Centres', to reflect the fact that some 9 million economically inactive people need somewhere to go to get help about what to do with their lives, given that meaningful jobs are hardly likely to factor in their future.

A spokesperson explained:

Not everyone is enthralled about participating in our barista/delivery driver economy so we need to provide more guidance on what to do with your economically inactive life.

Some suggestions are to take up:

  • Origami
  • Gardening
  • Cooking
  • Growing marijuana
  • Distilling hooch

Another popular occupation is to learn about AI since that will steadily remove any jobs that remain so it may be helpful to understand how AI will impact your life going forward in order to prepare for the worst but hope for the best.

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