Gustavo Petro, the president of Columbia, has admitted that he invited Harry and 43% Nigerian Meghan to visit Columbia after reading that Harry was a consumer of his country's most famous export in his bestselling autobiography Got Any Spare Change?
Having been moved by this public admission, the president welcomed the couple to his country where even the buses 'have schedules to keep' and everyone loves the romantic novelist Joan Wilder.
Meanwhile, back at the Windsor UK headquarters of 'The Firm', an Epstein associate who has been living in plain sight on the estate for some years, has been threatened with eviction by King Charles III.
This is a money-saving exercise as Charles no longer wants to pay for the associate's security as he is a bit strapped by the UK's cost-of-living crisis.
But at least this is better than being exiled to Corfe castle and having a red hot poker shoved up your rectum.