Olympics: Synchronized Sanctions

Not just economic

The ban on Russian athletes competing at the Paris Olympics 2024 will at last give other nations the chance to win the team synchronized swimming event.

A spokesperson explained:

The ban on Russian athletes will mean that the other synchronized swimming teams will have a chance to win the event. Their first in decades.

The Russians have won for the last six games so it's time some less talented swimmers get the chance to win without having to compete with the best in the world.

After all. Who wants to compete against the best when they can compete against less talented opposition?

This is another of our new Olympic values: Give mediocre talent a chance!

The Paris games committee also apologized for mixing up North and South Korea.

But it's an easy mistake to make. They all look the same, don't they?

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