SaxaVord in Shetland was granted the UK's first vertical launch spaceport licence in December, allowing up to 30 launches each year.
The new spaceport is to be developed by the German company Peenemunde Wunderwaffe GMBH as the launch site for their new V3 and V4 rockets that have the range to hit London - I mean Moscow - if required.
A spokesperson for the company, speaking from the underground control centre beneath the launch site (known to the engineers as the 'Fuhrerbunker'), told FNN:
It's been a long time since our U-boats roamed Scapa Flow but now we are back, and this time above the water!
EU spokesperson Ursula Von Richthofen commented:
My sympathies are with the people and ponies of Shetland.
I remember when I was a girl on the beaches of Rugen ... I used to cover my ears as I waved to the V1s and V2s on their way to London.
Ja. Das waren noch Zeiten!
Vorsprung durch Teknik!