Disease X

Porton Down to develop new disease

The UK's bioweapons hub at Porton Down has announced a new partnership with the World Health Organization (WHO?) to develop disease X.

A spokesperson explained:

The deliberate release of COVID from the Chinese bioweapon lab in Wuhan was so successful globally that we have decided to create disease X. Then our new man-made disease can be released on-demand whenever global conditions demand a lockdown so that civil liberties can be curtailed further.

Porton Down - famous as the local source for the Skripals Novichok - will work with the WHO not only to create a vaccine for disease X but also the disease itself so that we have complete control over the next pandemic, rather than leaving it all to the Chinese.

As soon as the news of the disease X collaboration was announced at the Mysterons Great Reboot conference at Davos, Bill Gates was rumoured to be investing heavilty in toilet paper companies in anticipation of the next pandemic.

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