New Lord Joins House

Lowers average age of peers

A new Lord has been appointed to the UK's House of Lords.

Baroness Aptamil is the latest appointee from Boris Johnson's honours list.

At one year old, she is the youngest ever Lord and the only Lord to need a chaperone for feeding and other tasks that we won't go into.

A spokesperson told FNN:

We need more youth in the house to better reflect the diverse nature of today's Britain.

By the time Baroness Aptamil is 25, most of the people around her today will be dead and she will have matured into a real statesperson.

Baroness Aptamil has plenty of experience already. She is the daughter of a cleaning lady at No.10 and has spent the first year of her life watching the comings and goings in Downing street with a keen eye from her carry-cot underneath the 'rainbow' mobile.

As a result of her appointment, we have had to build a 'changing station' in the house and stock up on Pampers but that's a small price to pay for a real injection of youth into the house debates.

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