Just Stop Oil, the activist wing of the NZIC (Net Zero Industrial Complex), disrupted the Ashes cricket match yesterday.
A NZIC activist invaded the pitch to protest against the continued use by the cricket establishment of linseed oil on their cricket bats.
A NZIC spokesperson explained:
Linseed oil has been used in cricket to lubricate bats for over a century and it's time this dependence on flax fuels ended.
Now that the rainforests are being cleared to make room for flax crops, the use of linseed oil is clearly becoming a contributor to climate change.
Former Australian test cricketer Bill "Bonzer" Heslop told FNN:
I believe the protester was carried off by the wicketkeeper. He should have had his bails knocked off.
Hey Muriel. Fetch me a tinnie! I'm parched.