Due to the fact that a valve got stuck on both Nordstream 1 and 2 pipelines, cutting off gas supplies to the West from Russia, President Putin has promised to send 'winter warmer' aid, to be dropped by specially adapted cruise missiles fired from nuclear submarines.
Putin made the promise at the recent Navy Day celebrations in Russia, which was greeted by the traditional 'Hurrah, hurrah, hurrah' from Russian sailors.
FNN has learned that the aid will consist of:
- lots of those hats with ear flaps specially made for the fashionable 'Gulag' brand
- a load of fur-lined Siberian underpants discovered buried in the tundra under the Chernobyl site
- thousands of odd-sized felt boots collected from Mongolian recyle tips
Mr Putin hopes that this gift will compensate for the lowered temperatures expected this winter as Europe relies on clean energy sourced from green wind and solar power.