The UK Department of Education has suggested that homes be abolished and replaced by schools.
Fake News has learned that some the reasoning for this decision is as follows:
- parents are unable to provide their children with 3 meals a day
- parents are not home when their children return from school
- parents proved unable to master the national curriculum to home-school their own children in the COVID crisis
Therefore the DoE proposes that the concept of home be abolished and homes replaced with nationwide boarding schools requiring all children to go to boarding school from the age of 4.
These new schools will be named Just Like Home Academies and the only children not required to attend are the politicians own children.
A DoE spokesperson commented:
Homes have been in special measures for years, according to OFSTED, so it is time they were replaced by something more fit for purpose. Our Just Like Home Academies will leverage best practices learned from the Care Home and Orphanage sectors to design schools where anyone would be happy to spent the 'best years of their life', including Mr Chips.