Fake News was astonished to learn from our Dorset correspondent that Vladimir Putin has been caught trying to interfere in the election of the Mayor of Shaftesbury.
An anonymous reader contacted Fake News claiming that she had received a call from someone called Vladimir Putin, whom she thought sounded Russian, asking her to cast her vote for a specific candidate in the upcoming election. When Fake News informed her that Vladimir Putin was the President of Russia she was gobsmacked and asked how he had got her number as she had put a false one on Tinder.
Fake News has had numerous reports that so-called State Actors, by which we mean actors who practise Stanislavski's Method Acting technique (he was also Russion by the way...see the connection?) to achieve a realistic emotional state, have been trying to influence mayoral elections all over the country.
This kind of infiltration and foreign interference in our daily lives must be stopped. Otherwise what's next...Xi Jinping telling us what takeaway to order from our local Chinese?