The White House, a broadcasting location located in Washington DC, has announced a new reality TVshow: Trump TV!
The channel will show 24/7 footage of Trump going about his business with footage from the Oval office even when it's empty.
Major media rivals like CNN (no relation to FNN), who have been banned from the White House for broadcasting 'fake news', have cried foul arguing that Trump TV will have a monopoly on all things Trumpian.
FNN has learned that Trump TV is in advanced negotiations with Hollywood to produce a range of exclusive movies and shows including:
- National Lampoon's Venezuelan Vacation with guest appearances from Nicholas Maduro as a local cocaine dealer
- At the Copa - a show about the life of an aging Cuban showgirl making ends meet under US sanctions on her OnlyFans page
- Sled Patrol! - a new show based in Greenland featuring the new Sled Patrol unit of the US Army tasked with defending the Inuit
FNN can exclusively reveal the lyrics for the theme tune of the new Sled Patrol! show:
Keep rollin', rollin', rollin'
Though the snow is swollin'
Keep them doggies rollin'
Sealhide
Through rain and wind and weather
Hell-bent for leather
Wishing my girl was by my side
All the things I'm missin', good vittles, love and kissin'
Are waitin' at the end of my ride
Move 'em on, head 'em up, head 'em up, move 'em on
Move 'em on, head 'em up, sealhide
Cut 'em out, ride 'em in, ride 'em in, cut 'em out
Cut 'em out, ride 'em in sealhide
It's whip crackin' good stuff and sure to be a must-watch for the local Inuit who haven't been featured in anything since the Ballad of Eskimo Nell:
When men grow old their balls grow cold / And the end of their nobs turn blue / They look back on a life of Yukon strife / And can tell you a thing or two
So buy me a drink and I will think / And a wonderful tale I will tell / Of Dead Eyed Dick and Polar Pete / And a harlot named Eskimo Nell