GPS trackers are to be fitted to sausages by a major supermarket in the UK.
Every sausage will now have a GPS embedded so that it can be followed throughout its lifecycle.
A special sausage tracking unit (STU) has been established where operators can follow the sausage from supermarket shelf to the toilet bowl.
Originally it was thought only to fit GPS trackers to the pack to deter shoplifters but then - what the hell - why not fit one to every sausage?
The data collected by the STU will provide mind-blowing analytics on the lifecycle of the humble sausage although these GPS-enabled sausages will retail for £4.99 each or £25 for a pack of six bought on a loyalty card.