Geoengineering

Dulux stock rises

A crack team of UK scientists has proposed a new way to prevent the ice caps melting: Paint them black!

The initiative is to be tested in the Arctic this winter by painting an iceberg black and monitoring its 'melt-rate'.

Painting the ice caps black is estimated to require over a billion litres of paint and as a result, stock in Dulux rose 20% on the news.

The Rolling Stones are rumoured to be re-releasing their hit song Paint it, Black to coincide with the trial initiative:

I wanna see it painted, painted black
Black as night, black as coal
I wanna see the sun, blotted out from the sky
I wanna see it painted, painted, painted
Painted black, yeah

A rival group of scientists have decried the whole exercise saying:

Combating climate change is about reducing carbon emissions, not the Black and White Minstrel show!

Swedish Lutheran Minister, Greta Thunderberg, currently on a boat headed for Gaza, told FNN:

Black is the colour of the devil! And of liquorice, which is very popular in Sweden.

But as long as the paint is eco-friendly then why not?

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