Fiddler on the Roof

US thinktank's secret plan revealed

FNN has learned that a secret plan for Ukraine, created by a US 'thinktank', has been leaked.

Apparently the West plans to fight on in Ukraine and weaken Putin's negotiating position in any peace deal by stoking tensions between Russia and the rest of the world, a US document obtained by a Russian intelligence agency has revealed.

The plan includes:

  • Securing US rights to all Ukraine's mineral wealth
  • Permanent supply of US weapons to Ukraine to benefit the US MIC
  • The exclusive use of US firms to manage the reconstruction of Ukraine
  • A new transportation network consisting of driverless cars supplied by Tesla
  • Perpetual rights to all President Zelensky's future comedy shows
  • A new Fiddler on the Roof theme park located near Chernobyl with exclusive rights to the Topo Gigio mousy mascot to be 'arm-wrestled' out of Italy

The Trump administration has reportedly dismissed the plan saying that this is all speculation but nevertheless some of the ideas are good.

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