After former President Trump was ordered to pay E. Jean Carroll $83.3 million in compensatory and punitive damages for defaming her, changing rooms all over the USA were empty and sales of underwear have plummeted.
FNN spoke to a customer in a New York department store who told us:
There's no way i'm going into a changing room with any ladies underwear when I might have pay that kind of money. Fuggettabowdit!
A store spokesman commented:
In order to prevent this happening again to any of our customers, we will be installing CCTV in every changing room to make sure that our female customers are not harrassed by predatory males.
The CCTV footage will be examined at the end of every day by a qualified security expert to determine if any offences were commited.
We have already had thousands of applications for that job. Including me.