A recent NASA report surprisingly claims that there is no evidence to suggest UFOs are 'extraterrestrial in origin'.
A spokesperson explains:
Just because UFOs have no visible means of propulsion, can rotate around their own axis and speed away faster than the eye can track, making them appear to jump, does not mean they are extraterrestrial.
It's probably that those people who claim to have seen them, like experienced military and commercial pilots for example, were probably on crack or enjoying an anal probe at the time.
So we have decided to rename them OAPs (Obviously Anomalous Phenomena) and hope they go away.
Australian UFOlogist Bill "Mekon" Heslop told FNN:
The only UFO I've ever seen turned out to be a boomerang someone chucked at me in the outback after a skinful of Fosters.
Hey Muriel! fetch me a tinnie. I'm parched.