The financial geniuses at the Bank of England will need the UK taxpayer to bail them out to the tune of £150 billion due to higher interest rates depressing bond resale prices and causing them losses.
It comes at a time when the Bank is unwinding £875 million of bonds purchased as part of its QE programme and is selling the bonds.
A spokesperson for the BoE told FNN:
When we printed all that money to benefit ourselves and the rest of the banking community with cheap capital, we did it at a time of 0% interest rates.
We had no idea that interest rates could go up and cause us to lose money when the bonds we bought needed to be sold!
I mean, imagine if you bought stocks and lost money? The idea is simply preposterous!
So of course we are turning to "the lender of last resort" - namely the British taxpayer - to bail us out. As we always do.
The BoE have now retained former US Fed chairman Ben Bernanke to help them with their forecasting.
Talk about putting a fox in the henhouse!
FNN has consulted its crystal ball and is forecasting a big bonus for Mr Bernanke courtesy of the British taxpayer.