The Archbishop of Canterbury is rumoured to be considering polling the Anglican church to seek a replacement for the sexist term 'Hymns'.
The Rev. Noote of St. Ogg's cathedral told FNN:
The Bishop, Archdeacon and I, all agree the days of calling our songs of praise 'hymns' are over.
And now we are all going to have a fortifying glass of sherry in the Bishop's study before the Dean arrives.
Some suggestions already rolling in for the reclassification of the term 'hymn' include:
- herms
- thems
- rainbows of praise
Another more complex suggestion is to have churches reorganized into 3 'safe spaces' of pew rows whereby each space can have it own hymn, herm or them board noting the hymn numbers for the service.
A special row will be reserved at the back of the church for TERFs.
Holy Moses! As the Rev. Noote might say.