Boris Becker is to be returned to the EU, via Rwanda, after serving only 8 months of his 2.5 year sentence for his asset-hiding racket after he was declared bankrupt in 2017.
Apparently, Britain's prisons are overcrowded with tennis stars so Becker is to be released way ahead of time as exercise yards full of tennis players are annoying the other inmates.
Lifer, Bert "Ball-Boy" Smith told FNN:
It was becoming impossible to exercise in the prison yard with all these foreign tennis players and umpires shouting at each other and throwing tennis rackets around. We complained to the narks.
My mate Ali got hit on the ass by a tennis ball when he was kneeling on his prayer mat. I mean, it's too much. My mental health is shot!
FNN has learned that Becker is considering launching his own underwear brand, following in the footsteps of Bjorn Borg with his Ball Borg brand. The new brand is rumoured to be named Beckers Boxers after an alternative name - Penis Panzers - was rejected as it would not be popular in Belgium and Poland.
Australian tennis star and aging hippie Bill "Love-All" Heslop commented:
Britain is definitely the place to go bankrupt and defraud your creditors of millions. Only 8 months inside? Julian Assange must be gobsmacked! Hey Muriel! Fetch me a tinnie. I'm parched.
When he heard the news, a former tennis wild-man is reported to have ripped off his bandana, smashed his racket into his trophy cabinet and shouted:
Are you freakin kidding me? They let that Kraut ginger-nuts go? WTF!