New London District Announced

The Jubilee line to be extended to Londonistan

A spokesperson for London Mayor Sadiq Khan announced that a new London district - Londonistan - is to be created to reflect the diverse population of 21st century London and provide an ideal production location for film crews looking to create the culturally diverse movies demanded by modern audiences.

Londonistan will be created at the Eastern end of the Jubilee line and 3 new tube stations added:

  • Kabul Central
  • Bagram City
  • Helmand Trinity (no connection to the Rugby League team)

Evenually the line will be extended to include Tirania Junction with options to Kosovo Canal and Mogadishu Mahdi.

But FNN has learned from inside sources that this may be a plot by NATO to enable a pre-emptive strike on Russia. The thinking is that once a new 'Stan' is established in London, Vladimir Putin will inevitably try to invade it thereby providing an ideal excuse to nuke Russia, get our hands on the vast Arctic resources and pay off the city's budget deficit accumulated while building cycle paths everywhere and removing monuments all over the city.

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