Period Dignity Furore

Scotland appoints new dignity officer

Following the furore over the appointment of a man to be the first 'period dignity officer' in Scotland - You cannot be serious! (John McEnroe) - Scotland has tried to defuse the situation by appointing a woman as the first 'masturbation dignity officer'.

The purpose of the new role, funded by the Scottish government and sponsored by Kleenex, is to promote the idea that free tissues should be provided in every school bathroom and to dispel common masturbation myths, for example:

  • Masturbation does not make you blind but it can make you squint a bit
  • It is not the devil's work although it does give you something for your hands to do
  • Once a day after every meal is probably too often

According to one online source:

It is normal for people to masturbate 3-4 times a week and some may prefer doing it once every day. There is no set rules on how many times one can masturbate. However, when it starts interfering with your day-to-day life, it's best to consult a counselor.

Well. What can you say? Good advice.

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