Pizzas Redefined

Stonebaked redefines pizzas.

Pizza authentication charity Stonebaked has announced that it is redefining the concept of a pizza.

The traditional base layer of a pizza has always been either a thin-crust or a thick crust (sometimes with cheese in the middle) and this has also always been the key identifier of a pizza.

But now Stonebaked is advising all the subscribers to its pizza authentication service that a pizza should no longer be defined by its base layer. Instead it will be defined by the topping that is used.

This reliance on the product's 'topping identity' to identify a pizza, means that many products that currently cannot be sold as pizzas, for a example a calzone with a 'four seasons' filling, now qualify as a pizza.

Visiting a pizzeria will now mean that not only pizzas can be sold but any product that is identified by its topping as a pizza. 

We asked Luigi "Topo" Guigio, owner of the Puglia Pizza Parlour, for his comment:

Itsa ridiculous. How can you call a calzone a pizza? Everybody knows a calzone is not a pizza so why pretend it is? Itsa a crazee. Mama Mia!

EU spokesperson Ursula von Richthofen told FNN:

My favourite pizza is Vier Jahrzeiten mit Pfifferlinge and in the EU it is illegal to call this anything but a pizza. Vorsprung Durch Teknik!

So that settles that.

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