The US Marine Corps has announced that it will drastically restructure in the face of new kinds of global threats.
The Corps will divest itself of APCs, tanks, aircraft and Marines in favour of missiles, drones and robodogs.
A Marine Corps spokesperson explained:
It is clear that for the warfighting of the future there is no more need for Marines. Instead we are eliminating all frontline troops and replacing them with AI-driven technology. A small back-office staff based in Kansas will be all that's needed to run the entire Corps going forward. Oh and a lot of Pedigree Chum.
FNN attended a demonstration exercise where hundreds of drones flew in and dropped their attached robodogs onto the battlefield. The robodogs quickly assumed their attack formation only to halt, stand to attention and salute the onlookers and press en-masse.
A Marine Major-general commented that the modification to the robodog to enable it to cock its leg and salute only cost $20 million - about the amount needed to build a small school.
Former Australian Marine, Bill "Battler" Heslop commented:
What a f**king disaster. Now we'll have to train robodogs to throw Afghan civilians off a cliff. More wasted money.
Hey Muriel! Fetch me a tinny. I'm parched.