Mary Poppins Moved On

Mary Poppins was moved on following a stop-and-search by the Met.

In a bizarre incident in London, Mary Poppins was prevented from feeding the birds after the Metropolitan Police moved her on.

New directives to the Met from the Mayor of London have instructed the force to only stop and search anyone who looks like a leave voter or a non-Muslim or who promotes the use of sugar, a disgraceful legacy of colonial West Indies slavery. 

This is why a pensioner feeding pigeons in a London square was apprehended by a Police officer and told to move on.

A spokesperson for the Met told FNN:

After offering one of our officers a spoonful of sugar to help the medicine go down, we suspected this old lady of having a "tuppenny bag" in her possession. This suspicion proved to be correct. We believe the seeds in her bag are in fact poppy seeds from Afghanistan and sent them to the vice squad labs for testing.

We confiscated the bag and let her off with a caution. She left the scene quietly... by umbrella. 

Julie Andrews melodiously commented:

The hills are alive with the sound of music!

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