In a shock announcement, the Danish government has declared that its whole economy will be restructured around long-form TV drama.
A spokesperson for the Danish Regering told FNN:
Denmark has been in an existential crisis ever since the Nazis cycled in over the Dannevirke and occupied the country in 1940. The dread engendered by this event instilled a fear and loathing in our culture, which it has never recovered from.
Our major post-war exports - hardcore pornography, furniture design and bacon - have experienced terminal decline in the face of Internet porn, IKEA flat-packs and the world adopting Islam.
But we saw the light at the end of the tunnel with the worldwide success of The Killing, Borgen and Broen, among other long-form TV dramas, and the rapid spread of the fashion of wearing leather boots and tight jeans popularized by that fox Sofie Gråbøl.
So now we are implementing a three-point economic plan:
- All pig farms will be converted into film studios and Copenhagen into a film set for crime dramas
- All Danish education will be focused on screenwriting, directing, producing and film-making
- Every Dane will have their own Youtube channel, yes, even Bornholmers
And Sofie Gråbøl will be appointed Minister of Culture.
Søren Kierkegaard made the existential choice to be unavailable for comment.