In a bizarre twist to the current Brexit spat over fishing rights in UK waters, the EU has warned that after December 31, 2020, EU farmers will have the right to harvest apples from English orchards.
This is the first step in a new EU initiative eventually designed to allow their farmers to milk UK cows, gather eggs from UK chickens and generally do what they like within UK sovereign territory, as in reality the UK is not a sovereign state at all but in fact a department of France due to being connected to the EU by the channel tunnel.
EU spokesperson Ursula von Richthofen commented:
If the British expect to sell their apples, milk and eggs to the EU then they must allow the EU the right to harvest all these foodstuffs on their land to ensure our standards are upheld.
Territorial Army officer Captain Mannering retorted by singing: Who do you think you are kidding Mr. Hitler?