Sadly Count Binface has lost the Clacton by-election to the incumbent MP Nigel Farage.
He told FNN:
The whole election was rubbish.
Some votes won't be collected for at least two weeks and many of the ballot cards were fly-tipped into the North Sea.
When I went door-to-door canvassing, some voters tried to shove food waste in my bin slot which everyone knows is banned from general waste.
For the next election I'm going to paint myself red and stand as Polly Postbox, a transgender with a male slot.